How I beat self-sabotage

Do you overthink, procrastinate or suddenly quit on your goals?

For 6 years, this was all I did.

I took one step in a million different directions. Never making meaningful progress towards anything.

In this week's letter, I will explain how I stopped sabotaging my goals and how you can, too.

What caused me to self-sabotage?

Lack of emotional control.

I didn't know it at the time, but emotions played a crucial role in the actions I took.

"I don't feel like doing X" was my standard operating procedure. I decided what to do based on how I felt.

If I felt confident, I’d do cold outreach.

If I felt self-doubt, I’d binge YouTube videos to find motivation.

Sound familiar? Well, most people operate this way.

They let their emotions dictate what they do.

It's a dangerous way to live because, in the game of entrepreneurship, you must do shit even when you don’t “feel” like it.

It's the only way to get what you want.

But most people can't accept this simple truth, so they quit.

You're destined to be a miserable slave unless you control your emotions.

So how did I do it?

I stopped making value judgments.

Value judgements are emotionally charged statements used to justify an event or outcome.

I would add my subjective views to objective facts without realising it.

For example: My post didn't get engagement because I'm so shit at writing.

Subjective view: I'm so shit at writing.

Objective reality: My post didn't get engagement.

Side note: 9/10 is you say "because" after describing how you feel, you're making a value judgement.

A subjective view is shaped by personal feelings and opinions. But objective reality is based on evidence and facts.

As they say, "Facts don't care about your feelings".

How I stopped making value judgments.

I used the AAA method (a guru name I made up to sound legit).

This framework made it easy for me to identify value judgements and disarm their emotional charge before I fucked myself over.

Awareness

Emotions create more emotions. That's why I wanted to catch the value judgment ASAP. The longer I let it fester in my mind, the harder it was to stop.

The most effective ways I found were:

1.) Daily journalling.

Each day, I'd find 5-10mins and ask myself.

What when right?

What when wrong?

Writing down my thoughts allowed me to discover patterns in language and triggers that caused value judgements.

2.) Accountability call.

I jumped on a call with a good mate and answered the same journalling questions.

Speaking out loud enabled my mate to pick up on language, thoughts and limiting beliefs I didn't know I had, but in real-time.

It was easy to overlook what I wrote down, but having someone there ready to call me out on my BS was on a different level.

Analysis

I then ran the value judgement through a simple two-step process.

1.) I wrote down how I felt and what happened.

Ex. I'm not good enough to build an audience on X.

2.) I removed all emotionally charged language.

Ex. I haven't built an audience on X.

My goal was to make this statement boring af. The more boring it is, the less emotional it is.

Side note: Don't do this process mindlessly. You'll risk creating a new value judgment, causing more emotional turbulence.

Action

By deconstructing the value judgement, I activated the logical side of my brain, which is responsible for pragmatic, solution-based thinking.

This helped me to figure out WHY I haven't built an audience and brainstorm tangible ways to make it happen.

Remember...

Pragmatic = progress.

Emotional = turmoil.

Emotions cloud judgment and make you more irrational. The exact state of mind you don't want to be in while building your dream life.

The goal is to do this in real time.

1.) Catch the value judgment the moment it arrives.

2.) Remove all emotionally charged language.

3.) Approach the situation with a logical state of mind.

The shorter the gap between value judgment and analysis, the less turbulent your journey as an autonomy creator will be.

That’s it for this week’s letter lads!

Today, I covered the process I used to stop self-sabotaging my goals and how I gained control over my emotions.

If you have any questions DM me on 𝕏.

Keep creating,

Nate.

P.S. If you missed last week’s letter click here.